So much yumminess!

Word wants to correct my spelling to crumminess, but I won’t let it. I really did mean to write yumminess. Or is it Yummyness? I like the ‘i’ better 🙂

So last week I started a sourdough starter and although it took a while, we had sucess! I have my first loaf started – did you know it takes 5 hrs!!! I did’t quite plan for that :/ looks like I’ll be up a bit later than expected tonight. I also had so much starter, that I tried buiscuits! I used Daiya cheese ( non-dairy for those that don’t know) and the just green part of a leek as I didn’t have any grated cheddar or chives. They are super!!! next time I’ll plan it better and make sure I have sharp cheese and chives.

I also started my Kombucha yesterday, so I will be hoping for less vinegary and more tastey this time around. I snagged a couple of bags ( ok I grabbed 6) of green tea from work as I only had flavoured green tea and not enough black. Can’t wait!

My seedlings are all out enjoying the heat on my back deck and I am jealous of them! I am in the kitchen cooking up a storm, and they’re lolling around in the sun.  Oh, I almost forgot, I’ve been waiting to have some leftover bananas to try the 3 ingredient cookies I keep seeing on Pintrest. Today was my lucky day and I had enough for 2 batches! I did one with mini chocolate chips, and the other with chia seeds, dried cranberries and a pinch of pecans ( someone has been raiding my stash <:( ). I report that they are friggin awesome!! I don’t miss the sugar or flour or anything! These would even be awesome for breaky before a bike ride to work etc. So I will definitely be making these on a regular basis.

Other than that, a relatively quiet week. I didn’t get to write like I wanted to, but I did get a bit of quiet time, which I needed. A new term started with several new students and I can’t wait to see how they all do.

Unfortunately I didn’t get a menu made. I did, however, learn that life is very much like a box of chocolates, as Forrest Gump says. I am struggling to find my place at work, and in life and decide what I want to do. Well, that’s not quite true, I know what I want to do, I just don’t know if I’ll be able to attain it. Change is hard. Contemplating it is also hard. Indecision is even more so. Sometimes, we just get frozen by decisions; our brains saying one thing, and our hearts another. The trouble comes when you have to decide if you’re going to listen to your head or your heart. Most people would say go with your heart, but that can’t always be the choice, since often long term goals take priority.

Take Scotland, for instance. I love that place ( well I don’t especially like Glasgow, but that’s just me). I would move there in a heartbeat! I can’t though, because I simply can’t afford it. but what if I could visit? I did a bunch of math and I would need about $6000 for the hubby and I to go. I tried to rationalize with myself ( hahah!) that if I could keep the cost below $3000, then we should be able to afford to go. However, we are in debt- a lot of debt- and that $3-6000 would go a ways towards getting rid of that, making our plans to move to the country realistic and attainable. But its Scotland! I really want to go! But I also really want to move to property and grow my own food etc. If I listen to my heart, we’re going as soon as I can arrange things. If I listen to my head, that money goes to pay off debt and get us on the road to self sufficiency. Decisions, decisions.

I still don’t know how I will answer that question. I tend to be a logical person who dreams of being a free spirit. I know that once we get our property and animals, leaving on a trip will be significantly more difficult. But as each days goes by, my need to get out of the city grows. I guess we’ll leave that bridge until we have to cross it.

In the meantime, enjoy the spring. Get out and get your body moving and focus your thoughts on good things, and try some new things! HUGS

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Made it!

Yes! I made it through January. It wasn’t looking good. There were many days when I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry and sleep. I questioned everything, from does my husband still love me to do my kids still need me. It was rough. But I made it! This is all part of my life now, this anxiety and the messes it makes in my mind. It often wants to ruin things, but I fight back.

I went to a party with my hubby. There were about 4 maybe 5 couples I knew, the rest I didn’t. It was loud, awkward and …. too much. After over an hour, we bailed and headed for home. Not because we didn’t want to stay and visit, or meet new people, but because it was just too much. Those of you with anxiety will understand and those of you who don’t, won’t and that’s ok.

On a more positive note, I read an awesome book called ‘You can buy Happiness and it’s Cheap’, by Tammy Strobel.https://www.amazon.ca/You-Can-Buy-Happiness-Cheap-ebook/dp/B0090RVGPW.

What amazing insight she has. I will say she is a proponent of tiny living and downsizing and minimalizing, and all those things that make most people shudder. But not me. The simplicity calls to me. From the time I first read ‘Little House on the Prairie’, I have been fascinated with living in a small cabin in the woods. I hope someday in the not too distant future to be able to realize that dream. In the meantime, I’ve gotten caught up in the ‘stuff’of life.

Do you have extra stuff? I can guarantee it, because its just a part of life that we’ve learned to live with. It represents status, wealth, prosperity and all those other things that we have been lead to believe matter. They don’t. Ask someone who’s survived a fire how much their stuff mattered versus surviving it. Sure you’ll miss those baby photos and your favourite things, but in the end, you’re glad you all made it safe. It’s the people around you – your wife/husband, kids, pets, friends ie people you have relationships with, that matter the most. Sure there are days I want to run away and hide, but I never want to do it alone, I want my hubby and my kids with me!

The other thing she mentioned that challenged me, was the idea of getting out of debt and staying out- thus the tiny house idea. I LOVE the idea of no longer being indebted to a big bank and forking out our paychecks to a big corporation. But how realistic is that? Very. Yes this book is American, but the principle is the same. Don’t spend money you don’t have. Our ancestors certainly had to deal with this reality. The harsher side of it is that people died from not having money to pay for Doctors, or Food or due to the elements. But what if the world didn’t work that way? That is a very big pipe dream, but all dreams have to start somewhere. So what if everyone started on a small scale buy not living beyond their means and getting themselves out of debt? Well, that is a very hard thing indeed. But it has become a goal for me.

Another thing she mentioned was having meaningful work. I do the work I do, because I have 4 children still at home, a mortgage to pay and bills and debt and food and all the myriad of other things that go along with life. But what would it be like to do what I love doing? I have spent some time this week thinking about that. What do I want to do with my life? The sad thing is, I have no idea exactly what I’d like to do. I have some ideas, but how they would manifest themselves into work, I don’t know. I love food! I love eating the things I’ve created, and serving it to people, and teaching them how to nourish themselves properly. I like making soup for my friends when they’re sick ( ask them about my green soup ) and I love the idea of spending my winters knitting, sewing and writing around a wood stove while a blizzard rages outside, and then a nice walk in the fresh snow. I love the idea of having a big garden that I use to feed us through the winter with some left over to help those who might need it.

I would love to have a place where people come to get rest and fresh air and a ready ear to listen, while I fill them with food. But none of those things top my desire to be the best mom ever. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do. Do I do it perfectly, heck no. But my goal still stands and I hope that when I’m gone, my kids will have the knowledge and hold it close and never wonder whether they were loved, or wanted, and that those I’ve helped will be able to offer them comfort because I gave comfort to them. The world is a very harsh place, but I want my place to be a place of refuge, and warmth and caring for all who come here.

This year, my husband and I will celebrate 25 years of marriage. We have been a couple for 30 years. I was 17 when I met him and just past 18 when we moved in together against our family’s wishes. We’ve struggled, and fought, but most of all we’ve loved. There were many long days and nights when we were all each other had, and I think that made us stronger. There are countless days that I wouldn’t be able to get through if I didn’t have my wonderful hubby to lean on. There are often days when I choose to love him even though he’s pissed me off (less for him I’m sure 😉 ). But we’ve stuck together through it all and I can’t wait to see what the next 25 years will bring us.

I’m sure there will be many more challenges, but there’s no one I’d rather have at my side.

Alright, now one to some nitty-gritty. The all important menu!!!

Last night ( Saturday) :we enjoyed a Rosemary and Thyme roast of pork with boiled potatoes, stir-fried leeks with mushrooms and a lovely salad made by my daughter.

Sunday:  Spanish rice with beans and salad

Monday: Stew and cornbread

Tuesday: Tuna patties on lettuce with veggies

Wednesday: Chick peas and veggies in Butter Chicken sauce served over Rice Vermicelli

Thursday: come on, you can all answer this one by now (lolol) PASTA!!!

Friday: Leftovers if there are some, or hot dogs, or pizza- something will get served, just not sure what yet.

Enjoy your week! Stay tuned for more exciting events as I delve more into my ‘stuff’ and get rid of things I don’t need and venture forth on doing some things I do need- like more writing!!!

Peace!

Business of Christmas

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’m swamped heading into Christmas. This wasn’t my plan. My plan, as always, is to be super organized and well prepared. Then life happens.

So this weekend, it is definitely crunch time. We decided to have a homemade Christmas- or at least mostly. This means that all my spare time has been taken up with crafts. I found a great place in London Ontario to source out some elements for soap crafting. Candora Soap ( http://www.candora.ca). I have now made ( look away now if you are in my family!!!!) lip balm, body lotion bars, shaving soap ( not so sure of this one- but it smells awesome!!!), rose soap, and am working on a new batch this afternoon, or I will be when I get off the computer. I even found a recipe for beer soap!

I have also spent lots of time with family and am very much looking forward to seeing everyone in the next few weeks. However, there is something I’ve been struggling with and that’s fake friends. We all have them, they fill up our Facebook, but are they true friends? It seems a bit juvenile, but I guess as I get older, I really value those whom I consider to be my friends. These people take time every once and a while to reach out and say hi, or give a crap about me and mine. So I took the plunge and deleted a few names from my list. It was hard, but freeing. We all have such small amounts of free time, personally, I would rather spend that time with people who give a *(&*%*(& instead of those who just like my status.

So, heading into the holidays, by house smells delightful and, depending on where you are standing, either like rose, bayberry, or bay rum. Our tree is up, and our annual Gingerbread party is done and consumed ( really, I have teenagers, you can’t expect that stuff to hang around 😉 ). The Christmas performance at school is this week, then family celebrations starting next weekend.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday season, whichever holiday it is you celebrate, and that you have time, despite the business, to enjoy the time with those you are spending it with. Don’t forget to reach out to your friends or neighbours who maybe aren’t as lucky to have people who care about them.

Happy Holidays!